Color Washing

I have to admit, this post might just be a soap box of mine, so if you are sensitive to irritation...be forewarned.

Jesus, back when He walked the earth made the comment about white washed tombs. They look pretty on the outside, but really, they just house rotting corpses. He said not to be like that. Sounds reasonable, and it must be right  - I mean JESUS said not to do it.  (I'm digressing a little here, bear with me - what He is saying is to examine yourself. If you are just appearing as good, but have evil stored on the outside...stop it. Jesus is the only way to get that cleared up. If you have questions about how that works...email me or leave me a comment, I would love to talk to you about it....okay, digression over)

Fast forward to today. There are a whole host of products that have been "white" washed just so you will buy them. I put white in quotations, because often it is NOT white. Often the color of choice is green, or, in the month of breast cancer awareness (aka October), pink.  It frustrates me to no end that companies are a) allowed to do this and b) that they DO!

AH! Think about it. That jar of body butter that has a pink ribbon on it...what does it have IN it?! Parabens? - those nasty little buggers that act like estrogen in your body and have been linked to breast cancer? GAH!  Instead of donating part of their profit to help cure breast cancer, wouldn't it be more beneficial for the company to take a look at their part of the problem, and possibly reformulate the product?

What about the disposable plates that are touted as green?  Does ANYONE else see the irony in that? Okay, I know that the one company makes their plates out of the otherwise unusable part of the sugar cane...but it still sits wrong with me...how are they produced? Does the company still use huge machinery that requires tons of petrochemicals to run? Sigh.

Green and pink washing are terrible. It makes you feel good for buying whatever they are selling, doesn't it?

Anyway, please be aware as you are purchasing items from here on out. Read the labels, don't just look at the packaging. Packaging is supposed to be eye-catching and is oftentimes misleading in order for you to buy it.

Avoiding color-washing,
xo,
Bliss

Don't Be a WENI

Part of the Journey of Toxic free living...on the relational side of things


A few years ago, before dear Hubby and I were married, we sort of went to per-marital counseling.  By sort of, I mean that he was here in Alberta, and I was in Ontario. We read the same book at the same time, talked about it, and then I went and talked to the lady who was helping to conduct said counseling.  At one point, Hubs and I actually were able to attend together.  ...Let's just say it wasn't an ideal situation, but the second book that our truly wonderful counselor gave us was amazing. It had a chapter to preface the whole book on communication.  I think we reread the preface about once a year. It talks about listening and repeating back and things like that, and it really does help.

BUT!  Since our counseling sessions were less than ideal, we asked a trusted couple to help us out post wedding ceremony. We met a few times and talked about how things were going. It was fun and super helpful.  The one thing I distinctly remember, though, was their talk about not being a WENI.

Let me explain.  It's an acronym to help you remember what NOT to do during conflict.

W-withdraw
E-escalate
N- negative spin
I- invalidate

So, what exactly do those mean? Some are pretty self-explanatory, but here we go!

Withdrawing is emotionally or physically running away from the conflict. Some people may shut down and just go silent, while others may walk away and cry. Either way, this does not help the conflict. It perpetuates negative feelings.

Escalating is just throwing more fuel on the fire. You did this. Yeah well, you did THIS. YOU did THIS...etc. You get the picture, it's really not helpful, now, is it?

Negative spin was the one I had a hard time getting my head around.  Basically it means that you take whatever the person is saying and take it the wrong way.  For example : "You look wonderful today" could be taken to mean that I look bad any other day.  See how it could get really ugly really quick?  Yeah - not good.

And! Finally invalidation is saying that the point of the person you are having a conflict with either doesn't matter or is just plain wrong.  Again, not conducive to a very loving relationship.

SO! If you avoid these things, conflicts can diminish or even disappear altogether!  But, if you just avoid, I'm sure you'll find other things to fill in the gap left by lack of WENI.

Instead of withdrawing, choose to engage. Instead of escalating, choose diffuse. Instead of negative spin, choose to hear what is actually intended. Instead of invalidating, choose to give value to the other person.  It's not a fun acronym like WENI, but the main thing to remember is to CHOOSE to be different.

Choosing to be different today,
XO,
Bliss

Spring Cleaning...in November?

I was reading somewhere recently that 75-90% of dust in your home is made up of dead skin cells.  That's nasty.  What does this have to do with free living, though, you might ask.

Well, our skin is our biggest organ, and it does a bunch of stuff, from keeping bad things out, to helping us eliminate the bad stuff when it sloughs off too.  That's where I get concerned.  While I am actively working to get rid of different harmful chemicals by limiting or even eliminating different chemicals from any kind of consumption, I realized that there is still some in my body due to bio-accumulation.  This is not great, but as time goes on many different chemicals will exit my system and by sloughing off, create the dust that's in our homes. We tend to breathe in that dust, and so those chemicals just cycle through.

Ew.  THIS! Is why I'm cleaning today. This, I'm starting to be convinced, is why in some part, our family gets sick more often in the winter months. This is why I'm starting a transformation of my home routine habits.

Here, I have to make a confession.  I dislike cleaning.  Always have. There was a time in high school where I was super meticulous about how my room looked and hand washed the floors weekly and stuff like that, but it was a control issue.  Even since I've been married, the only times I EVER did a really deep clean was when I was upset (read: angry at something) or when I wanted to surprise my more neat-freak husband. Let me tell you, this wasn't exactly all that often.  My home was presentable, mind you, but not Mariana Trench deep cleaned.

I started cleaning things a bit more when I was pregnant. - Gotta love those hormones that lead to nesting! I washed all of our couch cushion covers by hand. I dusted well. I did as much as my pregnant body could handle.  We even got one of those little green vacuums put out by Bissell.  Okay, so we didn't get the vacuum because I was nesting, it was more because of the Little Mister needing to be potty trained.

So, now, I'm learning to think through my whole routine, not just what goes on or in my body, but what is around my body as well. 

I'm trying to figure out some different tips to share, but maybe that's where you can come in, since I've only recently had this epiphany about cleaning. 
How do YOU keep your house spic and or span?

Some things I'm learning
-when you dust, make sure you vacuum after to make sure all that you've pushed on to the floor gets sucked out
-invest in good dusting cloths instead of just rags or else you might as well not dust at all (except for appearance sake)
-vacuum regularly - it keeps floor dust down
-get a good microfibre dry mop...again with the keeping dust in its place


I clean when I can with two little ones. Sometimes it's when they sleep, other times it's when Hubby is home. I'm learning to take time.

have a clean day!
XO,
Bliss

Editing

So, I've touted different natural things in the last little while. Let me tell you my experience with some of them.

Castille Soap for dishes:
This lasted about 3 or 4 days, as long as it took us to go get conventional dish detergent again. Sadly, though the dishes got clean, there seemed to be a film left on them, which was less than desirable. I looked up many different "cures" for it, but none of them worked for us. Once our bottle of dish detergent runs out, though, we're going to be purchasing a biodegradable version from the natural section of our local Superstore.

Homemade dishwasher soap:
This lasted about a week. I really liked it at first, but then our dishes got a lovely deposit of hard water stains. It was awful. I do think this would work in a place where there wasn't as many minerals in the water. However, if you live near us, don't use this unless you don't mind crazy milky glass. I'm not sure how to rectify this one. Some say put a package of lemon koolaide in with the soap, but I'm skeptical.

homemade laundry soap:
So far, we're still using it. It's getting our clothes clean, but I am noticing that somethings still seem stained. BUT! a caveat: we generally forget to pre-treat things unless they are EXTREMELY dirty. So, my son's clothes have a few food stains on them.


I have to admit I haven't been using our homemade all purpose cleaners all that much. I've used the bathroom spray a few times and it's worked like a charm, but with wiping down my kitchen counters as often as I do, I don't find I need anything else.


Have you tried anything and found it not working, or has exceeded your expectations?


XO,
Bliss